While the above scenario might seem a little far-fetched, in reality all it would take to achieve this is a bit more assertiveness in the world.
So what is Assertiveness?
Assertiveness is, in a nutshell, one's ability to understand and assert their own boundaries, while still respecting the boundaries of others.
Obviously to do this, however, you first need to know what your own boundaries are. Ask yourself what you're comfortable with and what you're not comfortable with. How do certain situations make you feel? Keep asking yourself these questions until you feel like you truly understand how you feel and what you want to allow in your life.
What is Assertiveness not?
Imagine assertiveness as being the middle ground between passivity and aggression. When people are passive it tends to bring about an "I lose/You win" situation. When people are aggressive it tends to lead to an "I win/You lose" situation. But with Assertiveness we are able to create "I win/You win" situations all the time as we consider our own limits as well as those of the people we deal with whenever conflict arises.
Being Assertive does not mean that you need to change who you are or become aggressive or bossy, but rather that you respect your own boundaries enough to say no without feeling guilty about it.
How can we be more Assertive?
Unfortunately being assertive isn't something that comes naturally to the majority of us. For many of us Assertiveness is something we have to learn and practice over and over before it truly becomes part of our lives. On the other hand we're lucky in that there are many workshops and courses we can attend and numerous free resources online we can read to help us become more Assertive.
Click here to view the Staff Training Assertiveness Workshop
Tips for more Assertive Communication:
1. Breathe deeply
2. Be mindful of your needs and the needs of others
3. Listen and acknowledge the other person's point of view
4. But then equally state your own (without emotion and at the right time)
5. Recognise that others have the right not to meet your needs just as you have the right not to meet theirs
6. Celebrate collaborated outcomes
7. Know that your internal power is yours to give away, your external power can shift with circumstances…
Staff Training presents Assertiveness Training nationwide, both inhouse (at your premises) and open hosted (at our premises with delegates from different companies). Contact (021) 839 3021 for more info or send us an email.