The Starfish Philosophy

Do South Africans hold themselves accountable? A leading question, I know. However, our success as a nation, as individuals, and useful members of society, hinges on whether we are prepared to step up and take responsibility for our actions

A great deal of the time it feels kind of like we’ve fallen down the rabbit hole along with Alice in Wonderland, because that which is patently obvious to many of us goes blithely unacknowledged by the offending party.

No, I’m not going to start a rant about our politicians – it’s far too easy to lay all our issues at their door. What I am going to do, is ask you to personally stand up and hold yourself accountable for anything, big or small, which you have incorrectly decided isn’t your responsibility.

Am I hearing lots of indignant snorts as you point self-righteously to your chests, ”You can’t possibly mean me?”

Well yes…… I kinda do.

I include you, myself, and all our fellow South Africans in this. Every one of us has an effect on the things and people around us, including the four-legged creatures over whom we have stewardship and the flora and fauna of our outstandingly beautiful country.

Do we teach our kids to hold themselves accountable? When they throw their chip packet down, when they marginalise kids at school, when they behave badly and receive a well-earned detention, do we excuse their behaviour, let them off the hook, bully their teachers into admitting they were wrong to correct little Johnny?

The answer is yes! Many times we make allowances for that which is actually not acceptable, simply because it’s got to be someone else’s fault. Never our own!

When we cry foul over what we consider reprehensible in others, are we holding them to a higher standard than we do ourselves?

OK – so why am I on this tack? Well, driving home I saw no fewer than four people throw lit cigarette butts out their car windows, I nearly ran over a pedestrian crossing against the red light, watched in fascination as a taxi passed me on the left-hand side in the yellow line whilst a biker roared down the solid white centre line, saw someone shout obscenities at a beggar, passed no fewer than seven people talking on their cells as they drove and was hooted at by the fellow behind me ‘cos I dared to stop at an orange robot!

So, yes - I’m seriously asking us all to examine our own infringements, remove the log from our collective eye before pointing to the splinter in that of the person next to us. None of us are perfect, but every one of us can make a difference by accepting full responsibility for that which is unarguably our stuff!

Take the starfish scenario – father and daughter walking along a beach littered with dying starfish which had been washed up by the tide. The daughter bends down and picks up a single starfish, flinging it back into the sea. Her father looks at her questioningly: “Why did you bother to do that – look at how many there are, we can’t possibly make a difference to all of them”. Her answer: “Yes, but I made a difference to that starfish!”

Let’s jettison the victim mentality, put on our ‘big girl pants’, and step into a future where each of us makes a positive difference to at least one starfish.

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