But etiquette has a far broader and much more relevant meaning in our lives, given that we live in a global village.
It is not only about what to do when faced with social situations to which you are unaccustomed. Rather, it’s about how to behave in a socially acceptable manner wherever you are – work/home/play – in the context of the multicultural reality in which we live.
Socially acceptable behaviour is really another name for good manners. Add kindness to the mix, and you’re already on your way to guiding difficult situations towards a positive outcome. Now all you need is knowledge of how cultural norms vary.
I draw your attention to the global village part of my blog. We deal daily with people from world views other than our own. And we can offend someone without ever meaning to do so, simply because we are unaware of the do’s and don’ts inherent in their particular culture.
Let’s revisit what etiquette is. I have an excellent example of misreading another person’s intentions simply because their cultural norm differs from our own:
My mom brought me up believing that if people don’t make eye-contact, they are sneaky! I believed her completely and probably left an uncomfortable impression on quite a few people by staring fixedly into their eyes without blinking whenever we spoke! Ah yes! Whenever I raise this example on workshops, virtually everyone nods sagely and confirms they too were taught this important bit of social etiquette!
Now I ask you, given that we interact daily with so many people who weren’t brought up with this particular belief, should it still be viewed as a bastion on which to hang our etiquette hats?
The answer is no and no again. Things are not that black and white, most particularly when viewed through the multi-focal lens of our different cultural norms. In many cultures it is considered disrespectful to look someone directly in the eyes. In fact, some people simply lack the self-confidence to maintain eye contact. Most importantly for me, I have come to the sad realisation that people can look you straight in the eye and lie amazingly well!
So, is etiquette snobbery? Absolutely not! It’s the opposite. Snobbery prevents people communicating in a clear, honest manner because snobbery is essentially a power play.
Etiquette is about setting people at their ease so that effective, clear communication is a natural outcome.
Staff Training is a soft skills training provider offering various courses on Etiquette and Diversity, contact us at (021) 839 3021 or drop us an email.