Emotions can happen when fear takes over. Sometimes this fear is hidden and the only conscious awareness is the emotion that plays out.
A few useful tips to keep you emotionally in control:
1. Identify the emotion: Are you for instance hurt, angry, jealous or do experience helplessness or injustice? Do you feel unheard? What is it that you fear?
Studies have shown that once we have identified an emotion, it's easier to deal with it and get over it.
2. Next ask yourself WHY do you feel this way? Be very honest with yourself. Jealousy for instance is called the green monster. But once you have figured out the WHY it's easier to deal with the facts rather than the emotion. It's also important to establish whether it's a fact or only a perception.
3. Emotions happen in a split second and so does a two-year-old's tantrum. Try to see your emotions as a part of you that needs guidance and steering. Be patient and kind to yourself. Practice step 1 and 2 and built a healthy habit of awareness. If you mess up in the meantime, sincerely apologise if necessary.
4. Emotions feel very real and fit for the moment. BUT unfortunately hurtful words or actions sometimes are used to express this particular emotion and the damage this can cause can last for a long, long time. Load shedding in the middle of a Stormers v Blue Bulls game is frustrating, but blowing up ESKOM might leave you without power to watch TV forever.
5. Emotions can spoil our mood. When you feel down and beaten, force yourself to take a walk or do something that you have being putting off for a long time. The shift of attention can do wonders for you.
6. Do not let others influence or control your emotions in a negative way. You are the master of your "house". Keep the internal focus of control. You have a choice: either you let external factors control you or you choose to keep the control.
Therina Kotze is a Staff Training Enneagram and Corporate Wellness Facilitator and Coach.
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